Heard a reiteration of bad news today.
Sometimes I think that the world is trying to get rid of me, which it does for all the great people - But I've never felt great in any way. So does that make a false martyr for thinking so when bad things happen.
Not entirely sure.
Although it does feel a bit preachy to say it, sometimes I do understand why people have organised faith, and why they follow such organization.
Life does feel like a mountain, and I feel like Jonah. Or something.
Regardless of these pseudo-religious metaphors for life being generally rubbish ; I still think that I must be doing something right. I take into consideration most things, including feelings and situations and find myself trying to balanced - despite how I truly feel at the time. Since I don't want to disappoint my family, friends, co-workers and finally myself.
So, at what point do I stop and consider that I may actually not be achieving the goal of greatness (which ironically, is egotistical to consider oneself 'great' - and sort of negates the idea of consideration for others.. or something).
It seems that I rarely do things to really satisfy myself, as it probably true of most people who read this blog (yes, all 2.4 of you) which means that I'm not alone ; but the mere action of NOT satisfying oneself is indicative of isolating and separation. Removal of feelings.
I feel I've done well to bury almost all the emotional baggage for a later (and impressive) later-life explosion, so let me keep on my track of greatness and let the world throw what it has at me.
World tries its hardest against the righteous.
Or something.
